Apologies to Mae West for misappropriating one of her better known lines. This article is in fact about what may be the world’s most gigantic collection of horse droppings bar none. I refer of course to the assorted bunkum associated with the self-proclaimed universal laws of attraction.

These hold that it is possible, if you train your mind to focus very intently, to attract (or “manifest”) just about anything you might wish for. Astonishing isn’t it? That anyone could actually believe this, I mean. So why on earth do so many people apparently buy into this nonsense?

The reason is probably much the same as why people choose to believe in astrology, witchcraft and Madonna’s demure and modest side. It would be fun, and ever so slightly spooky, if any of it were actually true. But there is another even more compelling reason.

You’ll never see ads offering to reveal the secrets to attracting, ooh let’s say, a sense of humor or a free supply of drugs (prescription only you understand). It’s onto the hard stuff straight away – how to apply the universal bogus twaddle of sleight and distraction for the much more worthy aim of manifesting money.

Promise to show someone how to make money and it is simply jaw-dropping to see how far off the floor their belief can be suspended. I’m prepared to bet that if someone were to start a website that taught how to commune with a secretive cabal of Leprechauns who had perfected micro-magic technology to infiltrate the global financial network they would, within a month, find themselves a virtual prisoner of their own fanatical subscribers.

Drawing breath after that last sentence… Anyway, I’m looking forward to manifesting a nice cold beer – just as soon as I can attract that damn fridge within arms reach. Oh the heck with it, may as well just get up and take myself over there. It’s nowhere near as mystical I’ll agree, but at least I get the beer.